Night time, sympathize
by LadyDemolition
Summary: Summary: Darren does something he never should have done on Chris's birthday.  Warnings: broken!Chris, heartbreak, angst, straight!Darren
1. Chapter 1

Chris couldn't believe Darren had found himself a girlfriend, not after what happened in this alcohol filled night one month ago.

But seriously...who was he kidding?  
>Darren told him right away that he was straight and Chris told him right away that he was gay.<p>

They were doomed from the very beginning and it was clear it wouldn't be long until one of them would fall and who that would be should be pretty obvious.

Chris adored Darren with all his heart.

At first he thought it was nothing more than a little innocent crush, nothing deep and nobody would blame him.

Darren was beautiful, exotic and had eyes to die for and his body, Chris wouldn't even know where to start.

Amber and he would spent hours stalking him and drooling over him and back then it meant nothing, it was all jokes and fun.

When Chris started talking to Darren on a more regular basis ergo after he had to shoot very flirty Klaine scenes with him, he soon found out that there was more to him than just a pretty face.

He was smart, funny, charismatic and dorky.

Exactly Chris's type.

They talked and debated about Harry Potter for hours when they were alone in Chris's trailer and they would laugh for what felt like decades.

He was nerdy and goofy and Chris loved it.

He loved the way Darren would be so happy and giddy over the littlest things like when Chris had Red Vines left over or when they messed around with Darren's keyboard finding songs that sounded just ridiculous and Darren would laugh, playing them over and over again and beam with his big white grin of his. Chris didn't know how he could _not_ fall for that, there was no way. Darren was overall amazing, even though he's pretty short, in Chris eyes he was perfect. Perfect for him but sadly also for others, in his case especially girls.

There were times in which Chris blamed himself for his own stupidity to allow himself to fall for the other man and sometimes he blamed Darren for being the goofball he was and for his perfect face and his perfect self.

He hated himself for being dumb like that and Amber tried her best to comfort him.

She was the only one who knew.

She would tell him he would find someone else, someone who was even more perfect for him, who would love him for the geek he is and respect him for the handsome and talented guy he is.

Chris would smile at her, place a kiss on her cheek and tell her "Thank you." but afterwards he would feel even worse.

Thinking about how no one else would ever be as perfect for him as Darren and how impossible it was for someone to love him.

Him in his whole imperfectness, with all his flaws and cracks.

He thought of how his skin was too pale and how all he could do was turn red and freckle, how he always blushed and gave away his emotions all the time, how he still looked like he was 12 and how he sounded like a girl, getting all high-pitched when he was excited, how he felt about his body, he thought about all the things he would get told when he was a kid, when he was still in highschool, the weird kid without any friends hanging with the lunchladies, trying to please everyone, be nice to everyone and all he got was rejection.

He was never cynical or bitter but he noticed how he tended to be lately.

Chris would put himself down so other people wouldn't have the chance to do it.

He thought that it wouldn't hurt so bad then.

The problem was he had told Darren all these things he kept to himself all these years.

He'd told him what he disliked about himself, exposed himself completely to the other man, unfolding all his insecurities, collapsing as he did so, sobbing into his warm strong shoulder.

Not because he was a weak person or because he was full of selfpity, no, he did it because it felt like the right thing to do and he wanted people to know why he was the way he was.

Why he was awkward and why he was ironic and cynical all the time.

Darren had comforted him like Amber used to.

Telling him he would be ok, that he was _handsome and talented_, the same stuff over and over again but he still wouldn't believe his friends.

He was 21 and heartbroken, broken in general.

Darren told him that he shouldn't blame himself after Chris said he hated himself even more for hating himself so much, because he could understand.

This boy was constantly told no, he was constantly told he was ugly even though Darren and millions of his fans would tell people they were crazy for saying so, Chris was told his voice was annoying, too high and that he should talk in a lower key and he would have. He would have changed anything about himself if he could.

He would be slightly tanned and more muscular and he would talk in a lower voice.

But there was no way that could be real and even Chris realized that this just wouldn't be him.

He wouldn't be Christopher Paul Colfer but some random decent looking dude.

Still, he couldn't help but be self-conscious.

It always got worse when he was drunk.

He was the kind of drunk who went through all the stages.  
>At first he's as happy as can be.<p>

Bouncy.

Flirty.

Touchy.

Sad.

2 more shots.

Crying.

When he turned 21 he already planned to get as wasted and trashed as one could.

Forgetting all the stress and bitterness and just live for the moment.

Waking up, remembering nothing, only the harsh pain in his head and stomach should remind him of the night before, everything else just a blur, reconstructing impossible.

That's how Chris wanted it to be and that's the way it was, except for the blur.

He remembered nothing that happened that night, all he knew was that he was randomly climbing trees, telling everyone he was the only lama who was able to do that while doing Chewbacca sounds , running around tackling lea and everyone else, telling random people he loved them, hugging everyone, filling some more shots and most of the liquor splashed on the floor, he recalled doing shots, the alcohol burning down his throat, the world spinning, a pair of soft warm lips on his, him kissing Darren, undressing Darren, touching Darren, feeling Darren.

That was it.

The stinging pain crept through his whole body, his stomach was aching so badly he laid in his bed cringing, writhing.

When the pain got better he noticed he was naked, he flinched, his eyes heavy and bloodshot, his hair ruffled into a mess.

Chris turned around and looked at the other side of the ridiculously big bed, seeing dark curls peeking out under white sheets, which were lifting softly in time with the other man's breathing.

"Fuck.", Chris whispered under his breath, running his hand through his hair.

He got up and rushed to the toilet, throwing up nothing but liquid and stomach acid, burning his throat again.

He could swear he didn't puke because of the alcohol but at the sight of his best _straight_ friend lying naked next to him.

He felt a throbbing pain coming from his behind and he felt sick once again.

What the fuck did he do last night?

He quickly brushed his teeth, not looking into the mirror.

He couldn't face himself right now and he most certainly didn't have to see to know he looked like shit.

Chris put some boxershorts on that were lying carelessly on the floor, not even caring if they were his before tiptoeing back to the bedroom, seeing that Darren had shifted.

Cloudy hazel-eyes looking sleepily up to him.

"Good morning.", he said, rubbing his face and Chris couldn't tell in which voice he'd said it.

He felt uncomfortable, ashamed and so damn afraid of what was coming next.

Darren cleared his throat.

"I-I-uhm...I guess we have to talk about...this.", he said, his voice hoarse and thick with sleep.

Chris looked around in horror, nodding slowly.

"Yeah...", he said, his voice soft and barely audible.

"What happened was - ... it can't happen again Chris, you probably understand."

He didn't but nodded anyways, lowering his head even more.

"I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it and to be honest I don't remember that much but...it was a mistake we...shouldn't...we - we shouldn't have had sex. This makes things complicated and weird...you're my best friend and I-I cheated on Mia and I...oh fuck Chris."  
>The blue-eyed just stood there, paralyzed, tears welling up in his eyes, shame and guilt creeping through his pale, bruised body, making him shiver and feel sick again.<p>

"Oh god...fuck...I...I...I - was your first wasn't I! Oh god...I am so sorry Chris!", he nearly screamed in realization.

Chris was crying now, heavy sobs shaking his body, he sunk down on the floor, pulling his legs up against his torso, shaken with tears.

He felt like the scum of the world, dirty, ashamed, hurt and images of Darren were flashing through his head.

Darren on top of him, his soft lips ghosting over his collarbone, back arching in ecstasy, hips bucking, the dirty sound of skins slapping against skin and soft breathless moans, wet kissing sounds, Darren's hands everywhere.

He could still feel them on his body.

Could still hear the sweet filthy words the other man whispered in his ear.

He just wanted to forget.

"I-I thought this meant something.", he mumbled.

Darren didn't answer, just staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

"I'm straight, Chris.", he whispered.

"Apparently you aren't, at least you weren't last night.", Chris spat, his voice hoarse and shaky.

"This doesn't count...no wait I didn't mean it like that, CHRIS!", he jumped off the bed, holding onto Chris's arm.

"I was drunk, I tend to do terribly stupid things when I'm wasted and this was probably the worst. I know this counts for you, too much maybe and it's not like I didn't want it or I never thought about it but...I'm sorry I don't know how to put it without hurting you even more."

Chris was trembling.

"Just say it.", he demanded, his voice surprisingly strong.

"I'm not in love with you. I can't be in love with you, Chris. I just can't.", Darren spat out, regretting it the moment he spoke it out, hating himself for using Chris like that.

"Thought so.", with that Chris turned around, freeing his arm from Darren's grip harshly, heading to the door, grabbing random pieces of clothing on his way.

"But thanks for taking advantage of me Darren, thank you very much. I hope it was good for you to fuck a virgin and leave it just like that. Kudos for being gentle and caring and whispering 'I love you's' in my ear, thanks for letting me think I was special and desirable...you know what. Fuck you Darren, just fuck you! You're the biggest asshole I've ever met and I thought you were different...obviously I was wrong."  
>"Chris...wait please!", Darren's voice broke.<p>

"NO! NO! I'M TIRED OF WAITING FOR EVERYTHING! I already waited for my life to become better since I was 10, I don't wanna wait for things anymore!", he screamed at the top of his lungs, hurt clinging to his voice.

If you listened closely enough you could probably hear Darren's heart break, hot tears were falling from his hazel-eyes, falling to the floor only to disappear into the rough fabric of the dirty carpet.

"I am so sorry Chris, I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to fix you? This?"

"You can't...and frankly I don't want you to. You did enough Darren. You used me like some cheap sextoy. I wouldn't even be mad at you but at me if you only admitted that it meant something to you too because at least this would prove me that you really are a good friend, my best friend even but as long as you can't do that...I-...", a heavy sob made Chris's body tremble and he had to pause for a few seconds so he wouldn't pass out. "As long as you can't tell me, we shouldn't see each other...at all. At least not when it's not work. I'll be professional on camera, don't worry but don't expect me to be off camera because I probably won't even care to look at you."  
>Chris's harsh words hit Darren's heart like thousands of little sharp daggers, pushing through, leaving him bleeding but he knew he deserved it.<p>

He wasn't the only one with a damaged heart here.

Darren thought about what would be worse.

If he stood up to his lies (if they've even been lies, he honestly couldn't tell himself) or if he told Chris once again he was sorry and that he couldn't feel the same for the other man as he felt for him.

"I can't say it often enough...I'm so sorry Chris. I fucked this all up. I fucked everything up and all I can do right now is apologize...I know you won't and probably can't accept it...but I want you know."

"Well...thanks I guess...", Chris said coldly, turning around, leaving, trying not to turn back one more time.

He let Darren stand there, naked, in the messy filthy room, still filled with the smell of sex and regret.

A single tear fell from the hazel-eyed's eye, hitting his cheek and it felt like a slash with the whip.

Emptiness taking over him when he realized that he hasn't just lost his best friend but that he lost his soulmate.

Even worse.

He broke him like he was nothing more but an old ragdoll you stopped caring about, he used Chris like he was just another worthless waste of skin and he knew he'd never stop hating himself for doing this to him.

To _them_.


	2. Chapter 2

The days passed like years.

Everything felt heavy and cold, emptiness was creeping through both of the men.

Chris couldn't eat and he still couldn't face himself in the mirror since he noticed a blue-yellowish mark on his collarbone that wouldn't be gone for another week.

Darren's fingerprints were still visible on his hips, blue bruises covering the soft porcelain skin there, reminders of what he just wanted to forget and he could swear that when he looked at them he could still feel the tight, needy grip pulling him closer.

_'Fuck you lightly bruising body!'_, he thought to himself.

He tried his best to not let anyone know, not even Amber.

The young man was way too embarrassed about what had happened.

He let someone use him and he even enjoyed it, at least he did while it lasted.

Chris's self-hatred grew when he thought about the night.

It wasn't like he hated being touched like Darren touched him, sometimes gentle and staid and sometimes rough and needy, grasping at him and holding him like he was the only one who mattered.

A sharp pain in his chest made Chris flinch and hiss, causing him to sit down.

But nonetheless he had loved having control over someone like this, being the one who decided how much pleasure the other one could get, how much of him Darren would have and apparently he decided to give him everything he could.

His cheeks turned crimson with shame.

He felt sick again but that wasn't really unusual anymore.

The need to tell somebody, _anybody,_ was slowly killing him.

Chris wanted to cry and scream in frustration and hold onto someone, just feeling loved and be told that everything's going to be ok, that everything will be _fine_ but there was no way he could tell Amber or Ashley.

They had warned him, told him he shouldn't rush things.

When he confessed he was a virgin they didn't believe him at first, telling him that with that moves, body, face and just with him being himself it was impossible that no boy had laid a finger on him.

The girls told him that he shouldn't throw himself away like that just because he was a 20 year old virgin.

They said it didn't matter what age you are if it is with a person you love.

At least _that_ worked out but it wasn't making the situation any better.

Chris just tried to get through the day, distracting himself with work.  
>He was writing like a madman, only getting up to get a new can of dietcoke or use the bathroom.<p>

All he wanted was not to think about Darren's perfect smile, his perfect moans, his perfect body.

He just wanted these things to go away.

Wanting to forget how they used to be and how he loved falling asleep on Darren's shoulder while watching a movie, just feeling safe around the other man, without any ulterior motives.

When he was typing word after word, phrase after phrase into his laptop, completely lost in his story his phone suddenly rang.

He winced at the harsh sound filling his completely quiet apartment, taking him out of his trance.

Chris nearly tripped when he ran around, searching his phone but gave up as soon as it stopped, letting out an annoyed sigh when it started again.

It went on and off for good 10 minutes and Chris felt relieved when he finally found it.

_4 missed calls by Darren Criss._

He felt so sick his stomach felt like the acid would burn right through, eating up his body and how he wished that could happen.

Tears were prickling in his eyes but he blinked them away, not letting himself cry over this man.

He shook his head, closing the message and putting his phone on mute.

There he was again, sitting in his lonely, way too quiet apartment, light dimmed and Chris was trying his best to focus but he simply couldn't do it.

The rush of work had worn off and he was back in reallife again.

He was forced to face it and he couldn't escape this time.

He heard his phone vibrate against his desk but he knew who was calling and there was no way he would pick up.

He just couldn't, even if he wanted to.

It just hurt way too much.

If seeing his caller ID made him feel that bad what would it be like if they actually talked?

Chris was yawning, it was already 2 am and he knew he should probably just go to bed.

He wouldn't sleep anyways or if he did he'd sleepwalk again but he needed to lay down because the pain was too overwhelming, creeping through him from head to toe.

At 2:23 his phone started ringing again, he shuddered.

Trying to use all his courage to answer this time because this had to stop.

His hands were shaking when he pressed the answer button.

"STOP CALLING!", he just screamed into the phone, startled by his own voice.

"Chris...I..."  
>"I don't want to hear any of your stupid excuses Darren! Don't you get it? It's over! You had your fun, I had mine and we gambled away everything we had! There is nothing that can be said anymore. I love you and you don't love me. I'm trying to get over this, I have a million other things in my mind right now! I can't be bothered with my nonexistent lovelife like I'm some fucking 16 year old Darren. Just please...leave me be, let me go, I can't deal with this. It rips me apart knowing that you're only calling to make you feel better about yourself but I honestly don't want you to."<p>

He paused, trying to gain control over his voice again because he was all highpitched and hoarse.

_"This wasn't the moment to sound like Mickey Mouse."_ he thought to himself.

"See...this is so easy for you because you're the straight one Darren, you can blame it on the alcohol all you want but I can't. You can say that you _can't_ fall in love with me as much as I can't do that with girls and everyone will understand but I know how I feel.

I know who I _am_.

You can just say you wanted to experiment just because you can. You're 24...you can do whatever the fuck you want but please...just let me be. Just let me get over this and stop rubbing salt into my wounds. I'm already open bleeding so...just stop."

"Chris I...I never wanted to make you feel this way.", Darren stuttered.

"Then why did you? Because I exposed myself to you the way I did?...I guess that's actually the thing that hurts the most...knowing that you know every weak spot of me and yet you still do this. You know me better than everyone else does and you still took advantage of this and it really fucking hurts - so bad Darren, so please let me hang up and live my life just like I let you live yours. I can't force you to love me or confess that it mattered but...I can let you know that it did to me. So...goodbye Darren."

"Don't hang up Chris please let me expla-"

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Chris couldn't take it, he was crying again.

After 2 years he cried so much it was like he was trying to catch up.

His body was trembling, harsh sobs making him jump.

His heart was wrenching and his head was spinning.

After an hour he finally fell asleep, completely exhausted.

He woke up to his doorbell ringing furiously.

Chris looked around sleepily, not really getting he wasn't asleep anymore.

His sight was cloudy and his eyes were dry and sore from all the crying.

He got up, quickly putting on some sweatpants and went to answer the door.

When he opened the door he cursed himself for not looking through the spyhole first.

It was Darren.

His hair was a mess and a dark fury of stubble spread over his face, his normally golden hazel eyes were cloudy and dark rings were underneath them.

But still...

_It was Darren! _

Chris wanted to slam the door shut, yelling and crying at the other man for following him, torturing him, making him feel ashamed and hurt in a way he never had before.

_He couldn't._

Darren was staring up at him in the most pleading way.

"Chris I'm sorry but I'm here to tell you the truth...I want to tell you things about me. You need to hear me out..."  
>The younger man stepped aside, letting the other one in.<p>

He slowly closed the door, his eyes widened and his heart beating like it was about to burst.

_What was this all about? _


	3. Chapter 3

"What part of I can't deal with this right now don't you understand?", Chris yelled at him, his eyes gleaming with fury and he really didn't know why he was doing that right now.  
>He actually wanted Darren to talk to him, he wanted to hear him out, needed it and give him the chance to make it all ok but something inside of him held against it like it was trying to save him from being hurt again.<p>

Building walls had always been easy for him, it wasn't like he wasn't used to it.

Chris desperately wanted to apologize for screaming, apologize for everything, for being imperfect and being in love with the other man but he was tongue-tied and confused, he hated Darren for what he did but at the same time he knew that was a lie.

There was no way he could hate the other man.

Chris tried to speak again, tell him he didn't mean to sound so upset but his voice wouldn't come out even if he tried.

"I guess...I-I should go, I'm sorry Chris I just thought...I could save this but...that was a bad idea."

He could see the hurt in Darren's eyes, tears forming in the pleading hazel eyes, staring at him tiredly.

"Stay.", Chris blurted out, letting all his walls come down for once.

He had no control over his emotions at this point, everything was a blur, like a dream and he just let himself flow.

He couldn't lose any more could he?

"Are you sure?", Darren asked slowly.

"Yes...I - we have to talk about this...we have to figure it out. It won't work like this with the tour going on and season 3 is going to be big for Klaine so...I guess I should try and be professional just don't expect me to say much...I'm still hurt but I'll give you the chance to say what you got to say...I guess I'm ready to listen now."

"I broke up with Mia."

"You..what? Why?", Chris asked carefully.

"You.", was all Darren said.

The younger man felt his heart sink into his stomach, the response came like a gunshot.

He was clueless, was Darren here to make him feel better or even worse?

"What is this supposed to mean? Did she find out? Did you tell her?", he panicked a bit.

"No...well yes I told her...but the main reason was...that I - don't love her...I - I love you Chris...I was just too blind to notice until now...well I did notice but I didn't want it to be real because it's not easy being in love with - with a boy all of the sudden when you thought you were completely sure about your sexuality.", the hazel-eyed stuttered.  
>"Don't play me Darren.", Chris nearly begged, still not sure if this was reality or not.<p>

"No...you don't understand. I realized that it would hurt so much more if I couldn't have you around than it would hurt not having Mia anymore...wow...that sounded meaner than I intended...well...the point is I need you Chris. You...you make me smile so much without actually trying and I just feel so comfortable whenever I'm with you...so what I need you to know is that...wow this is hard, excuse me...", he cleared his throat, fighting back the urge to just break down and cry.

"You're my best friend and I want you to know that it mattered...to me. And you matter so much Chris just...fuck."

Chris let out a small nervous laugh when Darren cursed, because it was just so Darren, swearing in every situation.

Darren smiled at him softly, overcome with emotion and all the weight falling from his shoulders, tears sparkling in his beautiful eyes.

"I still think it was wrong that...we had...sex that night."

The other man flinched at the word 'sex', it felt like a stab when he remembered.

Chris nodded slowly, lowering his head.

"No, let me finish. I think it was wrong because it was so rushed. It wasn't nice and slow or gentle like a first time should be and hell I don't think any first time is perfect, it simply can't be...but you deserve so much better. Not just some rough, drunk..._fuck_, because...there's so much more to sex than just getting off and I'm sorry I used you for - _that_. You're not someone one can throw around and play with. You are the most beautiful person I know, in and out and...gosh I don't know how I can make you believe that I really want this with you. I want to be with you Christopher Paul Colfer...I don't know who I am yet but that's ok because I'm sure that...I love you. I honestly do, just...I always identified as straight because I was never really...", he stopped, taking a deep breath, locking eyes with the taller man again.

"I never felt this way before...with a guy. I don't know anything about boys...I don't know how I'm supposed to treat you because I know you're not a girl. Obviously, but...you probably know what I mean."

"I think I do.", Chris stated.

He looked absent, like he was trying to recall if this was reality or a dream, he honestly couldn't tell.

"So...what do you say Chris. Will you forgive me for being the biggest jerk ever?"

"I'm not dreaming right? You're not just tricking me? And...and you mean this? ", the blue eyed man stuttered, running his hand through his messy hair.  
>"I do, I really mean it...I'm so sorry I couldn't make my mind up earlier. I've been so confused and I still am but at least not about the fact that <em>I love you<em>.", he repeated these three words softly, trying to convince Chris to finally believe him.  
>"I-I love you too Darren. Yes, yes I forgive you, we can...we can make this work ok? Just...just kiss me please."<p>

Chris stood there, he still couldn't believe this was actually happening and he yearned for a kiss to make him feel again.

He felt numb, paralyzed and when Darren's soft full lips connected with his it was like everything came clear in that moment.

Colours were bright again, his heart fluttered and his stomach filled with a million butterflies.

Darren broke the kiss softly, his eyes skimming down Chris's face.

A light blush was spread over his cheeks, his blue-green eyes were sparkling with life and tears, his lips were red and shiny, a soft smile ghosting over them.

"You're beautiful.", Darren stated.

"Stop it.", Chris laughed, punching the other man's arm jokingly.

"You are. You really are Chris...wow. How could I be so stupid...", he leaned in again, the kiss was more passionate this time, mouths opening slightly, just so much that the other's tongue could slide between the other's lips slowly, tasting and exploring, connecting.

Chris sighed into the kiss, his hands were grasping at Darren's coat, pulling him as close as he could, never wanting to let go.

Darren did the same, he was tugging at Chris's t-shirt, pushing the taller man closer against him by digging his fingers into his back.

Chris was the one pulling back this time, looking straight into Darren's eyes, flushed and breathing heavily.

"Stay.", he whispered against his lips, kissing him again tenderly.

"Show me that you love me...prove me Darren.", he murmured, sending shivers down the hazel-eyed's spine.

"H-how?", Darren asked quietly, his nose brushing against Chris's.

"Make love to me.", the younger man whispered, barely audible.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yes...", he paused. "I need to feel if this is real. I need you to make it up to me...you know how much pain this caused me and I need to know if...if you can do this without being drunk."

"Come here.", Darren said, kissing Chris again, softly leading him into his bedroom.

When the backs of Chris's knees hit the bed Darren gently pushed him down, never breaking the kiss, his lips still moving against his, tongues still sliding against each other.

Chris let out a soft moan when he fell into the soft mattress.

The other man was below him, breaking the kiss to get rid of his coat and whisper into his ear.

"I'm going to make you feel how you make me feel...don't worry I'll take my time...this is new for me too...let's just pretend this is our first time together because this means so much more."

Chris shuddered and moaned when Darren pressed their hips together, slowly rocking against him while they kissed.

Chris bit down on Darren's lower lip and moaned loudly when their erections pressed together.

Darren moaned deeply into his mouth, still moving his hips and Chris has never been so glad to be wearing sweatpants.

Darren winced when Chris grabbed his butt, pushing him hard against him.

"Sorry...", the younger man panted, kissing Darren's cheek.

"It's...oh...it's ok just...wait. These pants don't go too well with a hard-on."

Chris chuckled, pushing Darren up so they were kneeling on the bed.

His hands were roaming over Darren's body slowly, feeling every muscle, his fingers memorizing the way they shifted underneath his clothes.

_Clothes..._he wanted them off as fast as he could.

Chris's long pale fingers were still ghosting over the other man's body, pulling on the purple V-neck shirt he loved so much but right now he wanted to see what's underneath.

He quickly pulled it over Darren's head, putting his hands back on him as soon as it was gone.  
>Skin on skin.<p>

He felt his chesthair, his muscles, his softly tanned skin coated with a thin layer of sweat.

His mouth was still capturing the other's, his eyes were open now, soaking in the image of the man in front of him.

_It was Darren._

Chris stopped everything he was doing, trembling slightly.

"Hey...Chris...W-what's wrong? I-is this too much? It's fine we can stop now and just watch a movie or I can leave if you need more time.", he stopped talking to look at Chris, trying to find his eyes so he could figure out what was going on.  
>"No...don't leave. Don't ever leave! I just...I just had to make sure this was real and I wasn't dreaming or sleepwalking or anything. I want this..."<br>Darren kissed him tenderly, shoving his shirt up, exposing Chris's lean upper body.

"Gosh...", he whispered, taking off the other man's shirt.

He pressed his lips to his neck, placing soft wet kisses on it, starting to suck at the sensitive skin right underneath the other man's Adam's apple, making Chris moan contently.

"You like that?"

Chris let out a shaky breath.

"Yes!", he answered breathlessly.

Chris hips were still pressed tight against Darren but they didn't move just yet, Darren was too distracted by exploring the blue-eyed's body to care about his aching erection and Chris was way too eager to feel.

"Don't stop.", he panted into the older man's curls, burying his hands in them.

Darren was moving his way up, still planting openmouthed kisses all along Chris's jaw line, finally finding his lips again.

Chris let out a soft moan, kissing back with all he got, pushing his hips up at the same time, making Darren jerk his own and throw his head back.

"Oh...that's...oh Chris...", he was panting, sweating lightly and thrusting against the younger man.

He brought his lips back to Chris's delicate neck, sucking on the bright scar on the side, making Chris moan again.

Darren's hands were roving all over Chris's body, every now and then letting his thumb run over one of the little pink nipples, the callused skin scrapping at the soft skin, making Chris shiver and the nipple harden under his touch.

His other hand was resting just above the waistline of his pants, slowly trailing underneath it.

Chris was panting hotly into the crook of his neck while he was still sucking on Chris's jugular, feeling the other's pulse, fast and pounding, not caring that he would leave a mark and neither did Chris.

He was lost in ecstasy when Darren finally curled his calloused fingers around his cock, starting to move it up and down slowly.

"Oh god...", Chris sighed, his voice hoarse, breathless and higher than usual. "G-go faster please.", he begged.

His hands were finding their way to Darren's belt buckle, opening it shakily.

He agonizingly slowly pulled down the fly, making the other man hiss and stop his movements when it pressed against his erection.

Chris deliberately let his fingers trail over Darren's hardness, feeling it hot and pulsing against his palm.

Darren hissed, closed his eyes and tried to focus on Chris's cock in his hand again.

He was actually quite glad he didn't remember their first time anymore because he enjoyed finding those special spots and memorizing which movement or how much pressure could elicit soft moans from the younger man, which would make him writhe or shudder.

As much as he loved making Chris feel good, he wanted more, he wanted to feel him pressed against him, without rough cloth between them, just skin on skin.

Darren pulled down Chris's pants, his leaking erection sprung free and slapped against Chris's flat stomach.

The older man's eyes scanned the other man's body, noticing every hair, every scar, every muscle and he licked his suddenly dry lips.

"D-don't look at me like that please.", Chris whispered, feeling exposed and cold.

"But you are gorgeous how could I not stop and stare?", Darren asked, earning a soft smile from the taller one and a deep kiss.

Chris was pulling Darren's pants down as well, revealing his hard sex.

He testingly wrapped his hand around him, feeling Darren in his palm, hot and heavy.

The younger man gasped into their kiss, starting to stroke slowly.

Their movements were completely in synch as well as their noises.

Soft pants escaped their lips, every now and then one of them would moan at the tight grip of the other and the oh so wonderful and very much needed friction.

Darren let his calloused thumb flicker over Chris's already wet tip, smearing the precum, making Chris whimper.

"S-stop...I'm not going to last if you keep doing this.", he said shakily.

Darren smiled, repeating his movement, making Chris flinch.

"Oh god..."

"I didn't know you were this sensitive.", he pressed a kiss against the other man's flushed cheek.

"I-I am, s-so Darren stop or I'm going to come right away."

"You can...", he put his hand into Chris's neck, holding on to him while still moving his hand over his cock.

Their foreheads were pressed against the other's, they were breathing eachother's air, eyes locked, half open and cloudy with lust.

"N-no...I don't want it to be over...I...I want more. I want to feel you Darren...make me feel.", he whispered.

Darren stopped his motions, closing the gap between them by softly laying his lips on Chris's, kissing him tenderly.

He broke away and Chris winced at the loss of contact.

Darren stood up, getting rid of his pants, shoes and socks.

Chris looked at him, completely in awe, soaked in by Darren's beauty.

A soft smile was ghosting on his lips.

"And you're telling me I was beautiful...you should really see yourself DC!"

Darren blushed a little and run his hand through his dark curly hair.

Chris peeled of his sweatpants and boxerbriefs for one and all, laying there completely naked.

Darren moved back to the bed slowly, crawling up to Chris to kiss him once more, his tongue slit against his full lower lip, making the younger man open his mouth.

The hazel-eyed settled his hips against the blue-eyed's again, rutting slowly, causing friction that made the men moan into each other's mouths.

Darren pulled away, kissing his way down to Chris's chest, stopping at one of the hard, pink nipples, sucking it into his mouth, nibbling softly, making Chris writhe underneath him, his hips still rotating, pushing up to the other man.

Darren continued, placing soft kisses down to his stomach.

"More p-please.", he panted.

"O-ok...", Darren whispered against Chris's soft, pale, warm skin.

He went lower once again, placing a first kiss on the tip of Chris's cock.

The younger man hissed, pushing up from the mattress.

"Sshh...", Darren stilled him.  
>"I've never done this before.", he confessed.<p>

"Don't worry...neither have I.", Chris laughed.

Darren grinned up to him, running his tongue over his length and Chris was shivering, moaning and throwing his head back.

He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly and Darren loved seeing his lover breath and writhe like that, listening to his soft pants and sometimes loud moans.

He wrapped his lips around the tip, teasingly pressing his tongue against the slit, tasting Chris for the first time, bitter, salty and a little sweet.

Chris was trying his best to stay still, he held back the urge to thrust upwards, not wanting to choke Darren.

Darren slowly swallowed more of Chris's cock, sucking lightly, making the taller man feel lightheaded.

"Th-this is amazing Darren...oh god...why-ung...why are you so damn good at this?"

Darren pulled back, a thin string of saliva and precum was still connected to his red swollen lips and Chris could've come at this image right away.

"Well...I just do what I think feels good...", he really didn't want to talk or even think about his exgirlfriends blowjob qualities right now.

First of all because all that mattered to him that moment was Chris and he really didn't want to kill the mood.

He wanted to make love to Chris and not rant about what he liked when he was with a _woman_.

He quickly swallowed Chris again, nearly taking him in whole but he choked a bit when the tip nudged the back of his throat, causing him to pull back.

Darren was trying to catch his breath while Chris was apologizing with no reason.  
>He has been good and pressed his hips down to the mattress all the time and tried not to buck at all.<p>

"It's ok Chris...I-I just went down too fast...let me try again.", he breathed, his eyes flickering up to Chris's and the taller man shuddered.

"Y-yes please..."

Darren lowered his head again and Chris's hands tangled in his curls, not tugging, not pushing, just resting.

Darren closed his lips around Chris's cock again, sucking the head in, wrapping his tongue around it.

Chris let out a shaky breath and a strangled moan, his hips were shaking and his thighs trembling, holding back so much it hurt.

"Please...", the taller man pleaded.

Darren went lower, taking more of Chris's erection in, slowly and carefully this time.

"Oh god...", the younger one groaned.

Darren's nose was now pushing into the neatly trimmed pubes, taking in Chris's scent and he loved it, moaned around his dick, sending soft vibrations through his body.

"Again! OH GOD DO THAT AGAIN!", Chris practically screamed, his upper body rising from the bed, he was petting Darren's head softly, gently holding him down without noticing.

Darren tried his best to stay down, lapping at the cock in his mouth, swallowing and humming around him.

"T-this feels amazing Darren. Oh geez...I-I-love this...I love you b-but I'm going to come!"

Darren pulled back, Chris's length sliding out of his mouth with a dirty wet slurping sound.

The older man was breathing heavily, his face flushed, lips swollen and eyes glaring up at Chris wantingly.

Chris was panting heavily, his muscles working.

"So close...", he whimpered, shutting his eyes.

His cock was twitching and wet with spit and precum.

Darren licked his lips, moving up to Chris again, placing his hand on his, pushing him down into a bruising kiss.

The younger man bit into his lower lip to keep himself from screaming again when Darren lined up their hips.

"Holy shit...", Chris panted.

Darren grinned, pushing a kiss to his temple.

"What do you want to do?"

"I-I don't know...I..."  
>"W-would you...would you...wow...how can I say it without sounding dirty...", Darren thought for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed.<p>

"I-I want you to be inside of me Chris. I want you to make me yours because that's what I'm supposed to be. I made you suffer so much and I want to prove to you that I want this. So...I already took your virginity...I guess it would be just fair if you took mine."

"A-are you sure?"

"Yes, 100%...I want this Chris. I want you, so please...don't make me wait.", he whispered, thrusting up against him, reminding the younger man that he wanted and needed it as much as he did.

"O-ok...but I've never...been...inside anyone before...so...talk me through it please?", the younger man was looking straight into his eyes, loosing himself in the warm gold of the other, hidden behind a curtain of dark lashes.

"Chris, I only know the basics...like you do, but this is actually like a first time for me too ok?"

"So you've never...like...tried it on yourself before?", Chris face was turning red again at the awkwardness of this.

Darren laughed softly, placing a tender and calming kiss on the other man's cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb.  
>"No, I haven't...but I'm willing to let you teach me...do you have lube?"<p>

"S-sure.", the taller man stuttered, leaning down to reach for his nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube.

"That's so cliché.", he chuckled, his cheeks blushing even more.

"Well...but honestly where would you keep your lube then...don't worry mine's in my drawer too."

They laughed softly, Chris finally relaxing a bit.

"J-just relax ok? B-but you...you're sure about this yes? We don't have to...now I mean..."

"Shush Chris...it's going to be good, I know it...because it's you. I love you ok? I'm sure that I want this.", the older man said, placing a cushion behind his back so he could lay down and try not to tense up, his dick still hard, resting on his stomach.

"Shit...", Chris cursed, his erection twitching at the other man laying there, all ready and desperate for his touch.

He quickly coated his fingers with a immense amount of lube, placing his indexfinger on Darren's entrance, smearing the lube so it would be easy to slide in.

Darren panted and moaned softly when Chris let his finger push over his hole, teasing him, getting him to relax and open up.

"A-are you ready?", he asked, his voice husky.

"Y-yes...I am...please Chris."

His chest was heaving and Chris could see his heart pound.

He slowly pushed in, only to the first knuckle, waiting for Darren to get used to that feeling.

"Is this ok?"

"Yes, yes, oh god yes...go on.", the hazel-eyed whimpered.

Chris pushed further, watching Darren's face, studying it to see if there was any hint of pain.

He was all the way in, wiggling his finger a bit.

"Still ok?",he asked.

"Yes Chris...it feels really good just...just give me a second..."

"S-sure...yes.", Chris licked his upper lip, noticing that he was sweating when the salty taste spread on his tongue.

"You can...go on.", Darren murmured.

Chris moved his finger back and forth, crooking it lightly, loosening Darren up.

"You're so tight Darren...", he groaned, leaning down to kiss the other man hard on the lips.

"And gorgeous.", he added.

"T-thanks.", Darren beamed at him, his forehead glistening with sweat, his teeth nice and white, eyes dark and halflided and Chris could swear he fell in love all over again.

He couldn't help but lean in to give Darren a gentle kiss, lips parting softly, the other man moaning into his mouth when he shifted his finger once more.

"Add a-another one...oh...", he moaned when Chris pushed his middle finger in as well.

Chris was moving his hand faster now, watching the other man in awe, loving the way he arched his back and pushed his hips against him, wanting it so bad.

He didn't know someone could have so much power over another person, making him melt like he was wax in his hands.

"This is am-OH GOD DO THAT AGAIN!"

"What? This?", the younger man brushed over his prostate harder this time, smiling at the other man.

Darren was thrashing in the sheets, his upperbody rose from the bed and he was moaning loudly, pushing back against his fingers.

"MORE CHRIS PLEASE! OH SHIT!", he cursed under his breath.

"You...you're amazing Darren.", Chris whispered, pressing a kiss on Darren's sweaty forehead, nibbling on his neck.

"Y-you're driving me crazy...", he breathed out, laughing softly, clenching around Chris's digits.

"B-be inside me now?", he asked desperately, looking up to him with soft gleaming puppy hazel eyes.

"Y-you're not properly stretched yet...I don't want to hurt you.", Chris said worryingly.

"I-it's ok...I like the feeling of the stretch...I think it feels - unnnngh...terrific! I just...I _need_ you inside of me now...so badly."

"And I _want_ to be inside of you badly but I really don't want to hurt you!", Chris repeated.

"You won't...I promise...I can take it. And if not...make me take it.", he whispered, grinning deviously.

"Kinky...aren't we?", Chris said, pulling out his fingers, leaving Darren empty and groaning.

"Don't worry, I'll hurry up."

They smiled at each other before Chris reached down again to grab the lube and a condom.

He quickly gave himself a few strokes while Darren opened the wrapper, rolling the condom down on his painfully hard erection.

Chris lubed himself up as good as he could, lining his cock up with Darren's throbbing entrance.

"Ready?", he asked softly.

"Yes...please...", Darren whimpered.

Chris pushed inside, only the tip at first, holding back as good as he could, biting his lip, drawing blood.

"Y-oh god...it's so tight...Darren...you...you have to tell me if it hurts or if you want to stop ok? Just tell me and I'll stop.", he panted.

Darren nodded, closing his eyes as Chris pushed in the whole way, trying not to focus on the pain from being stretched but on how wonderful and enormous Chris felt inside of him and how he could feel him pulsing, hot and throbbing, in time with his heartbeat.

Chris stilled, his pelvis pressed against Darren, his thighs shuddering slightly.

"A-are you ok?", he asked, his voice trembling and breathless.

"Yes, fuck Chris...it feels so good...y-you can start moving now."

Chris pulled out until only the head was inside, he locked eyes with the older man, pushing in again slowly, watching his face.

"Does...doesn't it hurt?", he asked and Darren shook his head.

"No...well yes, but it hurts so good...don't stop. Y-you can start thrusting."

Chris moaned when he was settled inside Darren completely again.

"So...tight...you feel so good."

"So do you...", the hazel-eyed hissed, hooking his legs behind Chris's back, pulling him in deeper, faster.

"Don't hold back.", he whispered hotly into Chris's ear, sucking on his neck, kissing, biting.

Chris didn't need to hear this twice, he had hold back the hold time and was now thrusting harder and faster, deep strokes.

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, moans echoed from the walls.

Darren was grasping on Chris's back, his fingers digging into the porcelain skin.

"P-please..."

"Pl-please what?", Chris panted heavily, his hips moving frantically.

"More Chris...", Darren whispered, his voice breaking.

The younger man stilled, leaving Darren shuddering and hard.

"Lay on your s-side please."

Darren obeyed, turning his body, suddenly crying out in pleasure when Chris cock nudged that magical spot again.  
>"HOLY FUCK!", he screamed, pushing back hard.<p>

"Shhh...", Chris smiled proudly, placing the other man's leg over his shoulder.

He let his hand run through Darren's sweaty curls, kissing him softly and started moving again.

Darren couldn't hold it anymore.

He was groaning.

Whimpering.

Trembling, when Chris hit his prostate with every deep thrust.

"Y-you're perfect!", he moaned.

"So are you...shit...I'm going to come soon."

"Come Chris!...I'm so close..."

Darren reached down, stroking his neglected erection, hard and fast.

The tip leaking precum.

"Let me...", Chris muttered, putting away Darren's hand and replacing it with his own, jerking him in time with his frantic thrusts.

"Oh fuck...I'm going to come Chris!", Darren managed to say.

"T-then come!", Chris encouraged him, still trying to hold a steady pace, sweat running down his neck, making his body glisten in the dimmed light of his bedroom.

"Y-you're beautiful Chris...oooh...I...I'm coming!"

Darren screamed out when his orgasm hit him, hard and sending shocks through his whole body, making him shudder.

He was clenching around Chris's dick, gripping him tightly and nearly painfully.

"Oh god, you're so tight...so goddamn tight...I'm gonna come too!", he panted, pulling out when Darren held his arm.

"No...keep fucking me.", he pleaded.

"A-aren't you too sensitive for this now?"

"I don't care...it feels so good to be full of you!", he smiled tiredly, pulling Chris down in a tight embrace and a lazy kiss.

Chris started pumping again, slowly and carefully, rolling his hips.

Darren pushed him in deeper with his legs, holding him steady inside of him.

It only took a few thrust before Chris came, shoving himself into Darren hard, his hips shivering and grinding against the other man.

"Holy shit...", he cursed under his breath, trying to calm his breathing, collapsing on top of Darren.

He could feel his heart beat against his chest and he nuzzled into Darren's still sweaty neck, breathing in his scent.

Darren was still clenching around him, still riding out his orgasm.

"That was...", he started talking.

"...straight up amazing.", Darren whispered against his cheek.

They were just laying there in complete silence, enjoying each other's warmth.

"I could just stay like this forever...just the both of us...no one else...we should just lock up in your apartment and never leave."

"That wouldn't work though.", Chris stated, laughing at Darren's goofiness.

"But it would be perfect."

"Not as perfect as you.", Darren whispered sleepily.

"Stop it...I'm really not...you are so cheesy Darren Everett Criss."

They laughed, sharing a loving kiss.

Darren squeezed around Chris cock, making him groan with pain.

"Oouch...I nearly forgot I was still inside of you."

He pulled out carefully, putting away the condom and snuggling up to his lover again.

"I wouldn't mind if you were inside me forever."

They kissed again.  
>"This sadly isn't going to happen as well.", Chris kissed the other man's forehead lightly.<p>

"It feels so strange...being empty like this.", Darren sighed.

They were silent again.

"Know what?", Darren broke the silence.

"Hm?", Chris mumbled, he had nearly fallen asleep.

"I guess...it was faith that we had sex that night...I mean...if we hadn't we wouldn't have had a fight...then I wouldn't have realized how much I really love you and that I actually want more than friendship...and if I wouldn't have bothered you...we'd never been like this...see how it all comes together?"

"Yeah...crazy, isn't it."

Darren nodded.

"I finally found you...my missing puzzle piece.", he softly hummed into Chris's ear.

They locked eyes once more.

"Cheesy!", Chris laughed, Darren grinned.

"I can't help it.", he said before they kissed tenderly.

The younger one's tongue sliding softly against the hazel-eyed's.

"I love you though.", he murmured before laying back drifting to sleep slowly, holding Darren like he always wanted.

Close and warm, not caring about the mess on their stomachs.

It was just perfect in every way.


End file.
